My very personal lament against the forced vaccination programme

I am fully aware that this will read like a crybaby manifesto to many, but I don’t think I am alone in saying: if I take your shot now it will only be because you have broken my spirit. In the current and upcoming dire economic circumstances, that was pretty much all I had!

All right, moral citizens of the modern world, you win. I am no longer so conceited as to consider myself a “free thinker”, for all my contrarian views and nagging doubts about everything that’s been pushed down our sore throats over the past twelve months. Maybe this whole crisis was purpose-made to uncover the real filth in society: us childish, oppositional assholes (actual quote from an acquaintance’s social media post) that need to be taught a lesson and given a good extra-hard jab in the arm. Sorry, I didn’t mean that as a conspiracy theory or anything. Just a figure of speech.

Look, what I mean to say is, I’m one of those assholes. I am hesitant about getting the vaccine, at least for the time being. My reasoning goes along the same lines as ignoring the annual flu jab – I simply don’t think I need it. As for the effect on those around me: despite ongoing uncertainty as to the amount of inoculations required to bring overall deaths back down to pre-pandemic levels, it is clear enough that that number is less than a hundred per cent. Since so many are willing to take it, what difference does it make to you if I choose to wait a little? You never gave me such a hard time for not taking the flu shot every year. This may sound crazy, but I don’t think it takes a medical degree to look after yourself: what feels necessary, and what doesn’t. Every body is different.

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Yet another lockdown victim

As we here in the UK kick off our second indefinite term of social deprivation, I send my thoughts to the innocents cruelly imprisoned in their empty homes.

I met a dear old lady, out like everyone else to mark the last day of “non-essential” businesses being open. She sat next to us in the pub, with her glass of water, perusing the menu and looking around with big glossy eyes. She caught my eye and smiled. “That’s it then, our last night out,” she said.

“Yeah, it’s madness. Just as perfect pub season is coming up. Mulled wine, fireplaces, cozy warm chit chat, and it’s gone just like that,” I said forlornly with a snap of the fingers.

“I love eating out,” she added innocently. “It’s getting too cold to do gardening. Then again, I’m getting too old to do gardening. I’m eighty-three.”

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A history lesson from the future

People in the 21st century were very much like us, only they had to live through a time of intense anti-social upheaval as values were turned on their head and human intelligence took a back seat to that of the machine. Some of these poor souls were conscious throughout each phase of the short-lived digital revolution and subsequent fall into chaos.

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